The Great Gaming Rationale

I'm 36 years old. Some might say that I'm too old for this.

To them, I say 'Fuck off'. It's an instinctual answer- I've done it all my life.

Still, as I sit in front of my television set and agonize over the drubbing my Ohio football team is taking at the hands of Buffalo, I have to wonder... why do I do it? It's not like this is a new experience for me. I've played MANY computer football games over the years.

It began before the heady days of console systems. I once commanded a little red dash down the football field with my ancient Mattel Football game. Later, Intellivision captured my imagination with it's numeric control pad and one of the earliest attempts at emulating a football field.

In college, I discovered the magic of Madden '93 football on the Sega Genesis and the satisfaction of crushing fellow dorm-mates (many college football players themselves) with Cincinnati's unstoppable, HB Option pass play. Madden was the first console game to really give a gamer a sense of playing real football.

Still, I'd be remiss to ignore the most popular game in my Senior-year dorm- Super Tecmo Football. Although Tecmo offered little in the way of naturalism, the over-the-top graphics and up-temp play made it perfect for tournament play and trash-talking amongst friends. It was also a good way to learn that playing computer games against track-and-field sprinters was a terrible idea (they REALLY don't like to lose).

Fifteen years have passed since those all-nighters with no girlfriends in sight. Now, I am married. I have a job. I have cleared the age of 35. Growing older has made me acutely-aware of time... particularly the wasting of it. Days and months rush beneath me and here I sit, in front of a television with a game controller in my hand. The controller has 6 times the number of buttons and two extra joysticks, yet the goal is the same- winning football games. What's more, I can see that I am amassing the sort of skills that shall serve me nowhere else in my life.

Yet, I play on. I growl and bark at the screen. I slam controllers into the carpeted floor in front of me. My audience has no idea what I'm doing or why I would willingly subject myself to such trauma.

Maybe it's because it's a puzzle I can solve. Unlike my life, I can tell when I'm winning or losing from one instant to the next. I know what success and failure mean. I can rant and rave in one instant, but the problems on this virtual football field are solvable. I can figure it out. My life, on the other hand, is not so cut-and-dry. My wins and losses are primarily attained through hindsight. I can't pitch a fit when the moment of failure happens. Such revelations are made hours, days or even months after they occur.

The second Bowling Green unleashes a 50 yard bomb against my weak-ass cornerback, I know that I made a bad decision to blitz the front line and call a 5-2 defense against superior wide receivers. I secretly long for a moment in my life when I know exactly the moment I fucked up a major decision in my life or can revel in a pivotal upturn in fortunes. These triumphant wins or grinding losses anchor me against the uncertainties that plagues life.

At least, this is what I tell myself as I exhaustively weigh the statistical abilities of my running backs and tweak my offensive audibles for the umpteenth time.

Fortunately, the loved ones around me have been patient.

**Many thanks to Moby Games and Wikipedia for their links and pics