Pan's Labyrinth

Morgan and I decided to take advantage of New York's movie matinees ($6 before Noon) and schlepped down to 67th and Broadway for a flick. The critics had been gushing about this film since it was first released at the end of last year and we were eager to see something fantastical. I have been obsessed about macabre children's stories (i.e. Alice in Wonderland, the Oz books, anything by Dahl), and this film seemed to fit the bill.

The film is slicky-made- everyone is lit in that even, one-hour television drama style. The CGI scenes were generally effective, but there were a few moments where I couldn't help but notice how artificial they looked. In one scene there was a beautifully-rendered, writhing, mandrake root while another shot had a Spanish Captain staring through binoculars at terrible, CGI campfire smoke.

The story is strong in formula but there are some nice plot twists to be found. The film contains a significant (and somewhat indulgent) number of squirm scenes. I like the idea of a dark, dreadful fairy world but most of the gore is used to redundantly underscore the evilness of the Captain. Although many images are striking and effective at establishing tone, after a while it felt like they were more for the filmmaker's amusement than the story's needs. Though Ofelia's faun and faeries are interesting, they are simplistically rendered and do little to reflect upon either Ofelia's past with her dead father or her escapist perception of the world. I have seen enough magical beings in my filmic lifetime so their mere presence wasn't enough to induce a "wow" from me.

Writing fantastical stories is not difficult. I can let my imagination run wild and concoct wildly fantastical creatures and worlds. With the help of special effects artists and scenic sculptors, I could readily make a convincing world that is completely unfamiliar from our own. What makes great fantasy, however, is when those images are wrangled into the service of a specific, tangible equivalent. The Wizard of Oz (the film) showcases Dorothy's need to escape the mundane, American plains and learn that the world is cruel and one needs family to endure those trials of life and those characters (the witch, the scarecrow, the tin man) arise from the people and life around her. Roald Dahl's tales choke with the challenges of growing up amongst the cruelties of peers and adults and his villanous characters are often extreme representations of those personality types. The Brothers Grimm collection of folk tales are moral tales given fantastical vehicles to express them.

The most compelling character of Pan's Labyrinth was a strange, unnamed creature who kept his eyes in his hands. There is a brief shot where Ofelia enters his room and sees paintings along the ceiling that depict him killing and eating little children. Although the moment was brief and never referred to again, it intrigued me and, unlike nearly every character in the film, made me want to know more about this creature's story and Ofelia's relationship to him.

I enjoyed an opportunity to see a film that looks at World War II from a small corner of the world, à la For Whom the Bell Tolls, but I would have liked for the fantasy elements of this film to carry my perspective of such times to a new place rather than to showcase untethered imaginings. Still, if you like watching bugs turn into faeries, books whose pages morph from empty to ornate, or brief snippets of gore then this is probably the film for you.

Fun With Airlines

So this year for Christmas I went to Sweden with my wife (who is Swedish). We have spent the last few years right here in Omaha, Nebraska for Christmas but it was time to spend a Christmas with the Swedish side of this marriage.

To get to Sweden from Omaha you have to catch a connecting flight in Chicago. It may be shocking that there is no direct Omaha-Stockholm flights, but it turns out that is not a financially viable line. Once I entered the Chicago airport, I noticed a subtle change- subtle as in jump right up into your face and say “NOTICE ME NOTICE ME”. The people who work at the airport have a bit of an attitude. As I walked to my connecting flight I could hear around me courteous airport staff helping passengers. “Did I SAY you have to go through security again” one annoyed, rage-filled staffer told a quivering old lady.

In this world of mass travel via airplane there are a lot of obstacles to sanity and comfort. For some reason when I overheard this conversation it made me reflect on the wonderful world of airplane travel. I have broken this up into a few different parts.

Tickets: About ten to fifteen years ago airlines finally took the leap into electronic tickets. Kicking and screaming, the whole industry took a leap they should have taken twenty years earlier- a leap that not only makes travel easier on the passengers but saves the airlines huge amounts of money and time. I bring this up first because I see the ticket as the hallmark of airline progress.

Take something that benefits EVERYONE and drag your feet for years. If this is something you personally engage in, watch out- you might be an international airline.

Putting your flight, seat, and gate number in a clear-to-see and find area of the ticket is NEW. In the 90’s my airline tickets resembled numeric crossword puzzles, with gate, flight and seat information scattered indiscriminately across an ocean of random numbers that have meaning only to airline workers or some pagan airline. You would have to forsake your own personal faith and pray should you ever want to decipher your ticket and find your gate. Let me say that again, making the word SEAT big and placing YOUR seat number next to it is a NEW invention of the airlines. Somebody came up with that just ten years ago and that guy got a big raise, and robust men patted him on the back, and said things like “Johnson- ticket make good read. Me CEO, me big man, now I make plane go zoom zoom hee hee.” Some of you might notice that I didn’t say a woman invented this concept and that must be true. There is no way a woman was involved because a woman would have figured out tickets should be easy to read on the FIRST DAMN ONE EVER PRINTED.

I am not going to obsess on the walk through security because everyone knows how ridiculous it is and I just…it just hurts my head. But I will note that because I remove my shoes, take off my belt, stripped off my dignity and submit to random acts of searching stupidity I no longer have to be asked the dumbest questions created by man i.e. “are you carrying any weapons?” When my wife went through the final step to getting her green card I had to go in with her and prove we were married. Here are some of the questions they asked her. “Do you have any relatives you are bringing with you into the U.S.?” Fair enough, a question worth asking I suppose. This was followed up with “Are you a terrorist?” I kid you not, that was a real question. There was also, “have you ever been or are you currently involved in the trafficking of illegal drugs?” Maybe these are not stupid questions maybe our jails are so packed because questions like these catch criminals all of the time. Maybe this is the greatest invention in crime fighting since Batman- I doubt it, but I digress.

The most interesting thing I have found out about airport security is the differences that occur country-to-country. If you are at an airport in the good old U.S.A. well, be prepared to have your grandmother strip searched and tasered for having a pair of knitting needles. Are you leaving Sweden? Well, expect a polite, non-rushed security check that might also resemble a line at the grocery store. Did you just get done vacationing in Laos (yes, Laos has an airline, called Lao Air, Fun Fact: Lao Air is one of only two airlines in the world that does not make public it’s safety record….yea) Walking through security in Laos is a lot like just walking, there is not much of a check. Now I have to think this is because A. Laos has never had a terrorist problem. OR B. Even terrorists who are going to blow themselves up are afraid to fly Lao Air. O.K. now I’m not even digressing I’m just wandering around the landscape of airline security.