Happy Birthday, Scott

I often wonder why people cite what age someone would be on their birthday if they were still alive. Perhaps it is to image what that hole in their memory might look like.

When a person dies, he is frozen in time. Kurt Cobain will always be 27 years old. His music will never mature. I will never see him any younger than the disheveled kid he was at the moment of his passing.

My brother, Scotts will forever be 32. This September, I turn 38, and the age that separates the two of us will be six years. Next year, seven years will divide us. Ten. Twenty. Each time I gaze over my shoulder, Scott's 32 year old visage will stare back at me through ever-faded memories. Then, a great memory will come to my mind as vivid as the day it was lived only to be followed by the cold wave of grief.

I miss him so much.  Some times, it feels like a balloon that expands in my throat until I fear I might choke. The moment is often invisible until it is upon me. The loss of a brother who lived far away leaves me with final moments that I never knew I should cherish. I grieved then returned to a life that appears indistinguishable from a couple weeks prior.

Last night, I watched the movie A River Runs Through It. The story has always been close to my heart but never more-so than now. Towards the end of the film, the aged father, Reverend Maclean, delivers a sermon that speaks to the death of Paul, the younger brother-

Each one of us here today will, at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question."We are willing to help, Lord, but what, if anything, is needed?" It is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. And so it is those we live with and should know who elude us, but we can still love them. We can love completely, without complete understanding.

This morning, I drove into the Rocky Mountains and went fly fishing. It lifted my spirits. Along the banks of the Cache la Poudre River, I thought of Scott and I thought of the words of Norman Maclean. I gazed at the beauty around me and I found comfort in it.

Top 5 Week of September 8th

1) The National Boxer-- I've got this in my mp3 player...it is one of those albums that starts to grow and stick on your brain like a fungus...okay that is gross but is a really good album




2) This song... I like songs that involve geology



3) O more geology



4) I've been biking a lot now...It is pure joy...maybe that is overstating things a bit I guess.



5) Blogging again.

Ode to the Missing

Where oh where have the bloggers gone.
Where oh where could they be?

One had a kid
and another moved West
as for me
I'm just trying to be

Brian's Video Bar

Although my long-running streak of non-writing continues, I have finally made at least a small contribution to this blog. At right, I have added Brian's Video Bar where the videos from my YouTube account will appear.

At present, I only have one video. It is the opening I designed for the television show I've been shooting and editing over the last year. The show is called Kid TV and this opening sequence is the first I've ever designed for a broadcast show. The show is produced through the Thompson School District here in Colorado and involves elementary school kids (K-5) who write and perform their pieces for the program. Next week I will be taping the 26th and final episode of this school year's program. It's been a blast.

So like I haven't posted forever

Okay so like I had a kid and I haven't posted forever. I thought this was a great little talk about shift we have going on now from an inactive media culture to an active one. Hope everyone is doing great out there.

Apples In Stereo

Apples In Stereo, Kind of a fun, up beat, guitar heavy band. I have had this thing in my CD collection for years. I have tried to listen to it many times but it just never caught on. I thought for this review it would be the perfect time to really listen and know this CD but after many times of popping in the CD I have come to the conclusion it must go. It is not that the album is bad, in fact it sounds pretty good but I just can not get into it. I listen and just think of other albums I like that do this better for some reason I keep feeling I have heard all of this before, and I could be nuts but Apples In Stereo is going away for me. That is not really a review so instead I have some images of ladybugs that have invaded my home and are driving me insane.

Suck in that Air

Wow it has been a while, thought I would say it was because of the holidays that I got behind but I can't even use THAT as an excuse anymore, Oh well, jumping back into the music review world.
When last we left off I was talking about the first Air album that came out in 98' well this one is from 2004 it is called "Talkie Walkie" and represents a pretty big jump in "Airvilution" Transforming from a wispy, one step above elevator muzak to a band that makes "Real songs" with a start and finish just like a grown up band.
I have grown to really like this band and this CD in particular. "Venus" and Cherry Blossom Girl" are great for driving around on a spring day with the window down, fresh air blowing through your hair while wearing bad ass sunglasses and thinking your are so much cooler than anyone listening to the radio.
"Run" a robot sound scape with an almost child like vocal and soft choir undertones.
"Universal Traveler" yet ANOTHER good driving around song. Really if you don't believe me just buy they album wait for a great spring day and if you don't love it I'll give you your money back (not really, but go ahead and buy the album and drive around) Except until I sat down to write this and looked at the name of the song I thought they were saying "You Need A Soul Traveler" which, quite frankly I think is a better lyric. Hmmmm I might be writing my own song...
"Mike Mills" pleasant enough instrumental
"Surfing on a Rocket" just a shade too poppy for me but each to their own, if I wanted more of this I would just go back and listen to my "Love and Rockets" albums.
"Another Day" hmmmmm moody, not bad but I do usually skip it
"Alpha Beta Gage" another instrumental but I really like this one, anytime some one is whistling I give them points
"Biological"doesn't speak to me but I don't yell at the player when it comes on
"Alone In Kyoto"Made me feel a bit too much like I was a Renaissance fair
Well that is it, go get the album, even the songs that are not stand outs are better than most stuff out there, this is a great cohesive album of ten songs with some major stand outs on it.
On a side note this album has one of the worst album covers I have ever seen. Yes those are the two guys in the band and they have every right in the world to smack their mugs on the cover but, to me, the music and what these two guys look like do not mesh for me at all.
Some of these songs really take me to that, deep thinking, dreamy, slowing nodding my head to the music, place. And when I am there the last thing I want to think about are two greasy euro-trash dudes with horrible haircuts wearing.....cough...driving gloves?!.... what the hell. ABSTRACT COVERS BOYS..that is where you want to be....

Missing the Big Games

I rarely watch sporting events- they make me crazy. Whenever I switch through the channels and stumble upon a football or basketball game on TV, my first impulse is to watch it. I check out the score, examine defensive and offensive setups... but the second I start to care about the outcome of the game, I have to leave. I have my favorite teams in the pros. I have my undergrad and grad school conferences that I could root for but really... it doesn't matter. Within minutes, I will find myself obsessing over strategy. If I am anywhere near an Internet connection, I'll start looking up teams on the Internet and examining their statistics and win/loss records.

I can't help it.

I don't know how people can bet on sporting events. I bet on my favorite team once when I was in Las Vegas and spent most of the day weaving from one casino to another, trying to get an update on the score. If I tried to regularly bet on sports, I'd die of an aneurysm on the first weekend. Though I love Bill Simmons as a writer, but I have absolutely no ability to connect with analysis of the over/under on sporting events. Maybe it's because he writes about sports all the time and it's a part of the culture. For me, sporting events are like high school. Rarely does any event affect my life in any way whatsoever, it always FEELS like the most Important thing in the World while it's happening.

My favorite sport is basketball. I had my favorites (Magic's Lakers, Clyde's Blazers) and my Mortal Enemies (Isiah's Pistons, Malone's Jazz). In 1998, however, I discovered that my mental investment was wildly out of proportion from my enjoyment of the spectating. I missed Michael Jordan's game-winning/series winning/dynasty-ending push-off and shot against the Utah Jazz in the final game of the NBA Finals. Two television timeouts earlier, I was so freaked out that Malone might win an NBA championship, I thought I was going to stroke... so I left the room. I sat down in front of a computer, opened three browsers, and looked up anything other than Sports. Fifteen minutes later, my girlfriend had to come tell me that the game was over and Jordan had won. I missed it.

Afterwards, I realized my inherent problem with being a spectator- it's passive. In the few, real crisis situations of my life, I have been focused and calm. It is because I knew that a decision had to be made- an action had to be taken- so I took it. With sporting events, I am stuck in a (self-perceived) crisis situation and can do nothing about it.

That is where sports games come into my life. The tension and enthusiasm is still there from the spectator sport. I still pitch fits and yell at my television, but now I can do something about it.

For Christmas, I obtained my first Playstation 2. In the video gaming world, sports games that cost $50 on their initial release can be purchased for $5 used after a couple of years because hardcore sports fans insist on playing with the most up-to-date rosters. Since I rarely follow sports on a daily basis, I don't care. So, a couple days after Christmas, I cruised into a Gamespot store and, for $20, I snagged copies of Tiger Woods Golf PGA Tour 2005, NCAA March Madness 06, College Hoops 2K6 and NCAA Football 06 and those will be my discussion topics over the next few weeks. I will be devoting articles on my experience with these games in future posts when I can sit down and get enough face-time with them.

The Great Gaming Rationale

I'm 36 years old. Some might say that I'm too old for this.

To them, I say 'Fuck off'. It's an instinctual answer- I've done it all my life.

Still, as I sit in front of my television set and agonize over the drubbing my Ohio football team is taking at the hands of Buffalo, I have to wonder... why do I do it? It's not like this is a new experience for me. I've played MANY computer football games over the years.

It began before the heady days of console systems. I once commanded a little red dash down the football field with my ancient Mattel Football game. Later, Intellivision captured my imagination with it's numeric control pad and one of the earliest attempts at emulating a football field.

In college, I discovered the magic of Madden '93 football on the Sega Genesis and the satisfaction of crushing fellow dorm-mates (many college football players themselves) with Cincinnati's unstoppable, HB Option pass play. Madden was the first console game to really give a gamer a sense of playing real football.

Still, I'd be remiss to ignore the most popular game in my Senior-year dorm- Super Tecmo Football. Although Tecmo offered little in the way of naturalism, the over-the-top graphics and up-temp play made it perfect for tournament play and trash-talking amongst friends. It was also a good way to learn that playing computer games against track-and-field sprinters was a terrible idea (they REALLY don't like to lose).

Fifteen years have passed since those all-nighters with no girlfriends in sight. Now, I am married. I have a job. I have cleared the age of 35. Growing older has made me acutely-aware of time... particularly the wasting of it. Days and months rush beneath me and here I sit, in front of a television with a game controller in my hand. The controller has 6 times the number of buttons and two extra joysticks, yet the goal is the same- winning football games. What's more, I can see that I am amassing the sort of skills that shall serve me nowhere else in my life.

Yet, I play on. I growl and bark at the screen. I slam controllers into the carpeted floor in front of me. My audience has no idea what I'm doing or why I would willingly subject myself to such trauma.

Maybe it's because it's a puzzle I can solve. Unlike my life, I can tell when I'm winning or losing from one instant to the next. I know what success and failure mean. I can rant and rave in one instant, but the problems on this virtual football field are solvable. I can figure it out. My life, on the other hand, is not so cut-and-dry. My wins and losses are primarily attained through hindsight. I can't pitch a fit when the moment of failure happens. Such revelations are made hours, days or even months after they occur.

The second Bowling Green unleashes a 50 yard bomb against my weak-ass cornerback, I know that I made a bad decision to blitz the front line and call a 5-2 defense against superior wide receivers. I secretly long for a moment in my life when I know exactly the moment I fucked up a major decision in my life or can revel in a pivotal upturn in fortunes. These triumphant wins or grinding losses anchor me against the uncertainties that plagues life.

At least, this is what I tell myself as I exhaustively weigh the statistical abilities of my running backs and tweak my offensive audibles for the umpteenth time.

Fortunately, the loved ones around me have been patient.

**Many thanks to Moby Games and Wikipedia for their links and pics

CMR: Air- Premiers Symptomes

Ahhhh Air. I was intoduced to this band through a friend about 2001ish. A more aptly named band has never been. Air would be the national anthem of a country that defied gravity. A place where everyone floats in a warm climate and your brain has been saturated with painkillers. Yes, Air is an electronica mood band. But what is the difference between Air and say.... new age, waves crashing, wind blowing, cheesy crap. Well, the songs (if you can call them that) are cohesive, they go somewhere. It may be a slow relaxing pace but they are moving.
Air is made up of two French guys who like to wear suits. Premiers Symptomes is made up of thier singles before they became popular. So this CD is French electronica made up of pre-hits. Yes, I know that is a hard sell no matter what planet you are on but if you are relaxed and looking to stay that way "premiers Symptomes is the road for you.
I will admit that I have not listened to this album in a long time but once I did listen to it I realized this is not an album to listen to over and over again. This is an ocational taste of cloud only to be savored infrequently lest you start to fade away also.
I would go down the list of songs but they do not even list them on the CD and it really does not matter. Just plug in and space out man.

Craig's CD collection

O.K. the voice of Craig has been long absent from Eating the Pavement, but I am back and back with a mission. The mission is this: Go through my entire CD collection starting with the A's and review each one. In this way I will not only be throwing out some good tunes but I will give out some band history, and a little personal history that fits each album. This way not only will you get something out of it by getting a heads up on some music you may not have heard about before but I can review my relationship with the CD. So, we all get to learn something.
First of all "yes" it is a CD review not an MP3 review, I like Cd's I am going to be on my porch with a broom yelling at those durn kids to keep it down with their MP3's and shaking my tiny fists yelling about the old days. The fact of the matter is that I like Cd's I like the idea of an album, a cohesive whole that I can listen to. I like cover art, I like looking in the CD and reading about crap the band thinks I will find interesting, like thanking their Cat, or the guy who sold them blow. I can not do with with MP3's so there
O.K. the first CD in the shoot is.........THE AFGHAN WHIGS "What Jail is Like"

Here is the cover of the album. It was a promotional use only thing so I must have picked it up in a bargain bin somewhere.
The Afghan Whigs started up in the late 80's but really came into their own in the early 90's. Critical acclaim for the band was never a problem and they could use positive reviews as toilet paper and still never run out of them, the problem The Afghan Whigs had was popular success. I am always a little on the fence about what that means. Is that the difference between hundreds of thousands of dollars and millions? who knows? and if you do please tell me. The point is that they could not break onto anything but college radio.
The sound of the band is a lot like the Replacements getting squished into Mudhoney. Basically take a bunch of angst and sandwich it between bleeding guitars. What does that sound like? Well, pick up What jail is Like and find out.
Like I said I found this album in some used bin somewhere in Iowa City when I was going to college. I must have vaguely heard from a friend about them and the thing was probably like three bucks so "why not"
What Jail is Like is and EP, with three studio songs and several live songs. They take a stab at some cover songs too.
First up is of course "What Jail Is Like" the studio version which is great. singing in the car music has never been so fun, and that gos for most of the album. the song is about some girl and something and him complaining about his past behaviour but not really apologizing. It does not really matter because the feeling of the song comes through well enough to feel "emo" but in more of ballsy way because of the guitars.
#2 Mr. Superlove: GREAT, nowhere else in the world can a man scream out "I am Mr. Superlove" and STILL sound all emotional and tender. This makes it a great crossover song. Guys and girls all get something out of it. Girl-emotion. Guys-get to yell "I am Mr. Superlove" AWSUM.
#3 Go figure a dark version of "Dark End of the Street" I realize there are endless covers of this song and there should be as it is a great song but this version is the perfect mix. It is like the two were walking down the street and bumped into each other "HEY, you got your dark, brooding music into my well written, emotional song", "NO, YOU got your well written emotional song into my dark brooding music" and so on.
WOW three better than average songs, this review guy must LOVE those Afghan Whigs and have no perspective. "Not true" I say
#4 Little Girl Blue---what the hell, If the album sucked this is what it would sound like. Too much with the whine and the guitar
#5 What Jail is Like (live)- the live version- ehh it is O.K.
#6 Now You Know-life is short-push the skip button
O.K. we are in a tie here three good/three not so good and only one more song to go
#7 POW out of the park "My World is Empty Without You/ I Hear a Symphony (live) This last track is what kept me coming back. For the first year or so I would only listen to this song. it is a cover of the Supremes hit "My World Is Empty Without You" and in the middle of the song just for about 20 seconds they go into "I Hear a Symphony" also by the Supremes. The song makes me just want to end the review with "JUST GET IT, NOW", but I will review on.... The song is dark but retains it's poppy roots, brooding but not boring, The song is over six minutes long and at the end you want more. A live version with energy to spare. How they even picked this over forty year old pop song from Motown is a mystery but it works so well I am resolved not to question.
The point is "JUST GET IT, NOW"
I am not going to rate albums with stars or happy or unhappy faces or any other rating system. If you don't know what to do at the end of a review, I must not have written it very well but I going to post a photo of something that should be a short hand to understanding the review. This week----Me looking all broody and moody

M.I.A. takes the offensive

Life is a disjointed mess, but that's no excuse for my conspicuous absence from blogging. Unfortunately, I have acquired a job I like, so afternoons usually can't be devoted to the latest, online diatribe. I did want to call your attention to (so far) the best album of 2007- M.I.A.'s sophomore outing, Kala. I was an instant-fan of M.I.A. when I first heard her debut album, Arular way back in the day (like, 2 years ago). Unfortunately, the strong, independent mantra she lent to her songs didn't translate to her life and I soon found myself catching snipits of her songs in television shows and commercials. It's easy to shit on indie bands. In fact, the indie community has an ugly compulsion to shit on bands the second they find any success. Still, if you're a band like M.I.A. or Kasabian and your marketing image is all about breaking out of convention, then you sell your songs to corporations, then you're asking to get called out. With her new album, M.I.A. further-sinks any revolutionary, strong-female credibility when she teams up with Timbaland for the final track on the album, "Come Around".

Still, her music actually sounds like little-else in the musical landscape and that's enough to set her album a step above the rest. Once I stopped expecting her to be my Champion of the Underprivileged, I could enjoy her as a slamming dance track sans cliche.

M.I.A. pays tribute to Bollywood with "Jimmy":




80's Hip-Hop Videos go to Africa with "Boyz":



Enjoy.

Skullcrusher mountain

This is a little song that we can all relate to

Education Friday

I found this very interesting. The Pinky Show, where this clip is from, is producing some great & thoughtful political stuff.

Post punk 4-ever

Okay my biggest guilty pleasure is post-punk from about 1978-1988. So let us rock out.


Joy Division-- This is from 1979...british music is so hyper-bolic think 1969 you have the beatles and mere 10 years later you have this explosion of great weird pop music. I dismissed Joy Division for a long time. It was such big favorite with all the goth kids and I was punk rock--as much as kid from a small town in Nebraska could be punk rock.




Husker Du: It was an absolutely frigid and grey night in December '88 that Husker Du was to play the Ranch Bowl in Omaha. I had been waiting a couple months to see them. I went up door and there was sign that Husker Du had broken up. And it all felt much colder.




The Smiths-- I still believe this was the best pop band of the early-mid 80's. Plus I think all rock stars should have to carry around flowers.



The Pixies-- It was too bad that Nirvana and grunge gets all credit for breaking out "alternative" music. Grunge was well not really that good in retrospect. The Pixies were the best.

Top 5 week of 7/22

1) Uncommon Carriers by John McPhee. This really is a fascinating book. The premise is that John McPhee just tags along with the folks that move commodities across the United States. He rides along with haz-mat truck driver for a couple weeks and on barge through the Illinois river. I grew up reading the beats and folks like Henry Miller and Charles Bukowski. Now I really focus on history and non-fiction. So I am old but gosh darn it I more knowledgeable and probably more interesting to talk to at a BBQ or maybe not.



2) DEVO. DEVO out of all the new wave bands was the one middle America loved to laugh at the most. I am sure there were countless folks in early 80's that dressed up flower pots on their heads for Halloween. But they were really a great band.

3) Intelligence Squared. Discourse in America is pathetic. But what suffices for debate on CNN & MSNBC is well crap. It is this childish back and forth. So I was very happy to find this new podcast by good folks at NPR called Intelligence Squared. Last night I listened to the arguments on proposition "the global warming is a crisis". Listen I am a liberal sort that believes in environmental issues but the debate gave me pause. I was really surprised that in the 70's there was a lot doomsday stuff about global cooling.

You should listen.



4) Small Pond Fishing. With the new baby coming I haven't got to get away and fly-fish up in the mountains like I like too. I think that maybe coming to an end anyway. But I did sneak away to little pond at a city park I am close to on Sunday. I've always believed you make do with what you have. There is something glorious about water...you stick enough if it on top of the earth your bound to get something living in it. Sunday, I witnessed blue heron nesting, a turtle swimming, and a cormorant fishing. I fished for some big carp and I caught a couple of little bass. Don't worry I catch and release thus, no fish were harmed in the making of this blog entry.



5) Ultrasound. Geeze that is some crazy stuff.

ghost in the machine

If you haven't already checked it out already please read Kappa No He's Blog this week on the Japanese myth of tsukumo-gami, which basically are inanimate objects that have reached their 100th birthday and then become animated living spirits. Apparently you can tick them off during there inanimate stage and when they become animate lookout. "...they do have the capacity for anger and will band together to take revenge on those who are wasteful or throw them away thoughtlessly," says wikkipedia. So I will be spending this weekend with my durable goods atoning and apologizing for the abuse I have shown them. If only I had known.

Top 5 week of 7/15/07

I've got plenty excuses for my absence from the blog...but I will just move along to another awesome top 5:

1) Of Montreal. I picked up a lot music from my town library. It never ceases to amaze me what they stock on the shelves. Anywise I checked out Of Montreal CD entitled..."Hissing Fauna Are You the Destroyer?" I promptly checked in the CD at the end of borrowing period but it still showed up as checked-out on my account. I was worried and so I brought it to the 70-year-old Librarian's attention who promptly read out loud the title from the computer at the top of her voice, "Hissing Fauna Are You The Destroyer?" and just kinda stared at me. I just shrugged my shoulders. Enjoy.







2) Gardening like a hippie. Well the gardening is doing well. And I've been reading a lot of garden books by radical small farmers and gardening folks like Wendell Berry and Gene Logsdon. In between the microwave and McDonald's we forgot about good food and what it takes to make it. Anywise I suggest everybody read the omnivores dilemma and grow some food. I am now stepping off my soap box.



3) Pickled Pig's feet. I've been trying to cook more so I bought Rick Bayless's Everyday Mexican. In my town is a large immigrant Mexican population which translates into some great restaurants and some really good places to buy authentic Mexican ingredients. So a couple weeks ago my wife and I were at Mexican market and there they were on the meat counter-- a big jar of picked hooves just bobbing away. You feel very primitive eating the hoof and all but what the heck they aren't all that bad. Really we all eat the butt of the pig without blinking. I suppose my great grandfathers ate much worse.

4) Actually not dressing up in some weird costume to ride a bike or, alternatively, not riding to increase your lactic threshold or to break some record. Just riding a bike to enjoy it. (Note Craig's Photo...you should totally buy it from him).

5) Being a dad. So we are expecting at the Dart household so I am technically not a dad yet but close enough. I am pretty excited I am going to start watching a bunch of Leave to Beaver, Father Knows Best and My Three Sons re-runs to really work on my dad-a-titude before the tike comes a long.

New Music: Panda Bear

I have been jonesing for some new music for some time now. I don't know why, but I've burned through so many indie-pop bands over the last couple years, I'm feeling adrift on the indie music seas. There have been a few interesting sounds to keep me interested. The one that has held my attention the longest is the second album from Noah Lennox a.k.a. Panda Bear entitled Person Pitch. The album runs along psych/trance lines, yet the music evokes a bubbly, summertime wave a la The Beach Boys. That kind of music would usually have me running in the opposite direction, but Panda Bear manages to weave a dark undercurrent that prevents the album from sending the listener into a diabetic coma.

I don't know what the hell is up with this music video. Someone spent too much time with the video effects machine at a public-access, TV station. Enjoy the tune.

Updates

Craig: Peru or some other country where the water is not so good.
Brian: Alive and well settling into his rocky mountain home
Henry: Fly fishing the "run off" with zero luck.

Best song ever